we are living in exponential times.

people are peculiar and i often find myself emotionally attaching to them.

i may have lost my groove again. i held onto it for so long and rode it out as long as i could. but, i feel, the time has come to where i must abandon the path i have made and tread a new one.

i kind of enjoy the randomness of it all.

one of the people, that i must emotionally abandon, is this guy named mikey. don't ask why, but, i developed a sincere crush for him and the effects of his personality. he's not queer. well, i'm pretty sure even though, you can never be too sure. Either way, i justified everything he did to fulfill my internal desire for him to like me back. hell, even to just lust me back.

however, the reciprocation of flirting has ended and i'm beginning to feel more used than anything.

i'm stepping out of the box of my inner child and being the responsible adult. being the adult.

it's uncomfortable and unfamiliar.

but, i must draw the line. you can't fuck with someone's emotions for too long or they snap.

i don't want to get to that point. i'd rather end what we have at the rising action of the story than reach a negative climax and an unhappy resolution with an awkward denouement. nobody likes that shit. it's just not nice.

i think the best solution is to move on because, for all i  know, he was never flirting with me and was just using my intelligence to help him progress in class.

it'll take some convincing but, i'm pretty sure i can get myself to believe that i had simply imagined it all along.